pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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