I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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