I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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