how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
