I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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