I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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