If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
