Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
