I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
