so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize