Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
