Nicole vs. Life
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
