he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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