Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
