I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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