yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
