You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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