your parents love me but you hate me
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
