Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
