Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
