I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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