i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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