you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
