there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
