This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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