I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dicks are not precious.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
