I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
