Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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