I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm at about main and main street
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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