my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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