I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
