The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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