at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
