Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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