I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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