Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
