So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize