It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
