New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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