Tell her she can't have a vagina
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
