no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
