be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
they're like a gay fantastic four
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
