It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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