omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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