happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
But theres a keg here and me gusta
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
