i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
