David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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