Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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