:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You ate ashes out of my bong
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
