don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
