u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
