and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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