Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
