dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
