Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
