They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
