i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
