Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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