so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
